As we go through our education, we transition from children into young adults, learning how to pave our own paths. Our feelings toward others begin to change too. In elementary school, we had friendships we hoped would last a lifetime. In middle school, we started thinking people were cute, and in high school, we began asking people on dates. All of this is part of the journey through high school. However, a lot of the time, we face difficulties. Whether it’s asking yourself, “Do they like me?” or “What if it doesn’t work out?”, fear is often what holds us back. This month, I interviewed students and teachers to hear their opinions on high school relationships.
First, we heard from Mr. Teesdale, who fortunately married his high school sweetheart. When asked what relationship advice he would give to high school students, he said, “ Listen, the advice I always give you [students] don’t date until Junior year… [highschoolers] are still going through lots of changes physically and emotionally.” He went on to explain that by junior year, students are beginning to grow into themselves and better understand who they are. During the first two years of high school, many students are still trying to figure everything out, but as you get older, it becomes easier to find balance. He also emphasized that listening is one of the biggest factors in a healthy relationship. Being able to listen to your partner while also communicating your own thoughts can help make a relationship stronger.
We also interviewed Mrs. Kauffman, a married teacher on campus. She shared her insight on what to look for in a significant other, saying, “ When a person has charisma, is kind, understanding and calm because I’m not calm. Find someone who compliments your personality.“ Having someone who is patient with you and balances your personality can make a huge difference in a relationship. It is important to find someone who supports your lifestyle rather than clashes with it. If you want a little humor in your life, find someone who makes you laugh every day. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a smile that can warm your heart. Having someone who truly works well with you and understands the person you are can completely change the dynamic of a relationship. Learning and growing together through late-night studying over FaceTime or even working through your first fight can help build understanding and connection that lasts for years.
How do you know when you have a crush on someone, and what about wanting to act on it? We asked a couple of students about their experiences. First, we heard from sophomore Jackson Gephart. He said, “You kinda feel like your world is better or you can look forward to the next day.” He also commented on the uncertainty that comes with having a crush, and wondering whether you are in that stage of “we aren’t together but we are” or if they even like you back. These feelings are completely normal. What matters most is how you react to them. Approaching someone you like can feel intimidating, and many people worry about not knowing what to say. Sometimes, though, all it takes is a quick “hi!” to make someone’s day.
As we go through our high school years, emotions can feel like they are all over the place. Everyone wants that perfect movie romance, right? But movies rarely show how much work relationships actually take. One of the hardest parts of any relationship is setting boundaries. Emotional and physical boundaries help shape the dynamic of a relationship and establish respect between both people. Questions like, “Are they going to respect my wishes?” or “What do I do if they don’t?” can be difficult to answer. As teenagers, we constantly hear about what we are “supposed” to do in relationships, but setting boundaries is one of the most important things you can learn. The hardest part is not only creating those boundaries but also sticking to them. Being able to say “No” is an incredibly important skill to develop at a young age. The saying “No is a complete sentence” may sound cliché, but it exists for a reason. Setting those limits and standing by them can help prevent situations from becoming unhealthy or overwhelming.
